What to look out for Holiday visits with our aging parents have evolved. For boomers, our parents may be showing signs of aging in ways beyond their physical appearance. The time to simply visit, assuming that our parents are okay is over for some of us. The assumptions are replaced by the need for a vigilant look at how our aging parents are really doing.
The following changes may indicate the need to take action to ensure your aging parents’ safety and good health:
1. Weight Loss
One of the most obvious signs of ill health, either physical or mental, is weight loss. The cause could be as serious as cancer, dementia, heart failure or depression. Or it could be related to a lack of energy to cook for a loved one or just themselves.
2. Balance
Pay close attention to the way your parent moves, and in particular how they walk. Pain can be a sign of joint or muscle problems or more serious afflictions. And if unsteady on their feet, they may be at risk of falling, a serious problem that can cause severe injury or worse.
3. Emotional Well-Being
Beware, too, of obvious and subtle changes in your loved ones’ emotional well-being. You can’t always gauge someone’s spirits over the telephone. Take note for signs of depression, including withdrawal from activities with others, sleep patterns, lost of interest in hobbies, lack of basic home maintenance or personal hygiene. The latter can be an indicator not only of depression, but also of dementia or other physical ailments including dehydration.
4. Home Environment
Attention must also be paid to surroundings. If you discover excess or unsafe clutter and mail that has piled up, a problem may exist. Scorched cookware, for example, could be a sign that your parent forgets if the stove is on. An overflowing hamper could mean he or she doesn’t have the strength and/or desire to do laundry. Check prescription bottles for expiration dates; and make note of all prescriptions your family member takes and place that information in your personal files as well as the elder’s wallet in case of emergency.
There may be other areas of concern, specific to your family member. Should this year’s holiday visit open your eyes to current and potential problems or negative changes in your parent’s physical or emotional state, then its time to put a plan of action in place. To follow are some steps you can take over the holidays.
1. Initial Conversation
Have a heart-to-heart conversation with your elderly loved one about their present circumstances, concerns and the measures they’d like taken to make things better. Introduce the idea of a health assessment appointment with their primary care physician. Would they feel more at ease if a home health aide visited a couple times a week? Maybe they have legal questions and would greatly benefit from an appointment with an attorney. Or they may need help with housecleaning or bill paying.
2. Identify Resources
While you may want to keep things light during the holiday seasno, do take this opportunity to collect all necessary information now to avoid frustration and confusion in the event of a crisis down the road.
Try to find a directory of senior resources and services by checking with a library or senior center for lists of resources. This list should also include friends, neighbors, clergy, local professionals and all others who your family member has regular contact with. In fact, if you haven’t already, take the time to visit with those friends and neighbors and make sure you have their current contact information and they have yours.
3. Prepare a To-Do List
Now is the time to begin compiling a to-do list to be implemented over a period of future visits. Medical information should include your loved one’s health conditions, prescriptions and their doctor’s names and contact numbers. A financial list should contain property ownership and debts, income and expenses, and bank account and credit card information. You should also have access to all of your parent’s vital documents that could include their will,power of attorney, birth certificate, social security number, insurance policies, deed to their home, and driver’s license.
