Recognizing Symptoms of Dementia

The Brown family reunion has always been an event everyone looks forward to. Family visits, games, stories and everyone’s favorite foods are always on the agenda. On the top of the menu is Grandmas Lemon Coconut Cake. Grandma always makes the traditional cake from her old family recipe. This year, however, the cake tasted a little on the salty side, perhaps a half cup full of salty.

Though the family was disappointed over the cake, of more concern was Grandma’s confusion with the recipe and her similar confusion about the loved ones around her. Could something be wrong with grandma’s mental state?

One might say that for an elder person a little forgetfulness or confusion is normal, but when do you know if there is a serious problem, such as dementia?

An online article from FamilyDoctor.org outlines some common symptoms in recognizing dementia.
“Dementia causes many problems for the person who has it and for the person’s family. Many of the problems are caused by memory loss. Some common symptoms of dementia are listed below. Not everyone who has dementia will experience all of these symptoms.

• Recent memory loss. All of us forget things for a while and then remember them later. People who have dementia often forget things, but they never remember them. They might ask you the same question over and over, each time forgetting that you’ve already given them the answer. They won’t even remember that they already asked the question.
• Difficulty performing familiar tasks. People who have dementia might cook a meal but forget to serve it. They might even forget that they cooked it.
• Problems with language. People who have dementia may forget simple words or use the wrong words. This makes it hard to understand what they want.
• Time and place disorientation. People who have dementia may get lost on their own street. They may forget how they got to a certain place and how to get back home.
• Poor judgment. Even a person who
  doesn’t have dementia might get distracted. But people who have dementia can forget simple things, like forgetting to put on a coat before going out in cold weather.
• Problems with abstract thinking. Anybody might have trouble balancing a checkbook, but people who have dementia may forget what the numbers are and what has to be done with them.
• Misplacing things. People who have dementia may put things in the wrong places. They might put an iron in the freezer or a wristwatch in the sugar bowl. Then they can’t find these things later.
• Changes in mood. Everyone is moody at times, but people who have dementia may have fast mood swings, going from calm to tears to anger in a few minutes.
• Personality changes. People who have dementia may have drastic changes in personality. They might become irritable, suspicious or fearful.
• Loss of initiative. People who have dementia may become passive. They might not want to go places or see other people.”

Dementia is caused by change or destruction of brain cells. Often this change is a result of small strokes or blockage of blood cells, severe hypothyroidism or Alzheimer’s disease. There is a continuous decline in ability to perform normal daily activities. Personal care including dressing, bathing, preparing meals and even eating a meal eventually becomes impossible.

What can family members do if they suspect dementia? An appointment with the doctor or geriatric clinic is the first step to take. Depending on the cause and severity of the problem there are some medications that may help slow the process. Your doctor may recommend a care facility that specializes in dementia and Alzheimer’s. These facilities offer a variety of care options from day care with stimulating activities to part or full-time live-in options. Sometimes if patients tend to wander off, a locked facility is needed.

In the beginning family members find part time caregivers for their loved one. At first, loved ones need only a little help with remembering to do daily activities or prepare meals. As dementia progresses, caregiving demands often progress to 24 hour care. Night and day become confused and normal routines of sleeping, eating and functioning become more difficult for the patient. The demented person feels frustrated and may lash out in anger or fear. It is not uncommon for a child or spouse giving the care to quickly become overwhelmed and discouraged.

Family gatherings provide an excellent opportunity to discuss caregiving plans and whole family support. It is most helpful if everyone in the family is united in supporting a family caregiver in some meaningful way.

“The first step to holding a family meeting, and perhaps the most difficult one, is to get all interested persons together in one place at one time. If it’s a family gathering, perhaps a birthday, an anniversary or another special event could be used as a way to get all to meet. Or maybe even a special dinner might be an incentive.

The end of the meeting should consist of asking everyone present to make his or her commitment to support the plan. This might just simply be moral support and agreement to abide by the provisions or it is hoped that those attending will volunteer to do something constructive. This might mean commitments to providing care, transportation, financial support, making legal arrangements or some other tangible support.” The Four Steps of Long Term Care Planning

Professional home care services are an option to help families in the home. These providers are trained and skilled to help with dementia patients. Don’t forget care facilities as well. It may be the best loving care a family member can give is to place their loved one in a facility where that person is safely monitored and cared for.

Dealing with Disabling Chronic Pain

Pain management is the process of bringing pain under control. Pain can be a problem with many people at the end of life. Persistent pain can accelerate the decline in health due to poor nutrition, depression, lack of social stimulation and lack of exercise. Persistent pain becomes a form of disability, interfering in the ability to perform common daily tasks. Here is a list of problems that pain causes to one's self or to others:

·       It is difficult to sleep

·       It is difficult or impossible to pursue hobbies or personal activities

·       Exhaustion can become a constant companion

·       Depression is a very likely outcome

·       There is little desire to eat

·       It is difficult to enjoy the companionship of one's family

·       There is reluctance to move about or exercise

·       The patient and the caregiver become more isolated from the community because of the disability

·       Family and friends who are caregivers become exhausted because of constant worry.

Chronic pain is a problem most often experienced by terminal patients who are dying from cancer.  Non-cancer patients at the end of life may have other pain-causing conditions.  This may be caused by such conditions as neuropathies, chronic back disorders or arthritis.

Chronic or ongoing pain only adds to the suffering of a critically ill person. If the pain can be brought under control, a seriously ill patient can have a better quality of life for the remaining time available to him or her.

Constant pain can also bring on depression, which in turn could lead to suicide. Many people who cannot endure chronic pain take their own lives or seek out assisted suicide. Pain management may be a better alternative than suicide, not so much for the patient but more for the family. If a loved one takes his or her life, that can produce a permanent scar of shame or guilt within the family.

The most common line of treatment in pain management is the use of medications. There are a number of helpful medications and herbal remedies to relieve chronic pain.  Psychologists who specialize in working with clients who have chronic pain are also available.  The human brain has a great deal of power over the pain a person feels and with correct therapy a person may be able to alleviate some of his or her suffering.

Seniors and Adult Children Under One Roof: How to Succeed With This New Trend

Adult children are moving back home with mom and dad in record numbers these days. It’s often not the child’s choice, but rather as a result of circumstances, that parents and grown children find themselves as roommates once again.

The conditions that may force an adult child home include downsizing, divorce, the need to care for an aging parent, or money issues related to student loans or under- or unemployment. In 2010, the country’s college graduates owed an average of $25,250 in loans, according to CNN Money. That is 5 percent more than the class of 2009 owed. The unemployment rate for the 2010 class was 9.1 percent, the largest on record. Compare that to the 20.4 percent unemployment rate for people who didn’t go to college (College Access & Success Project on Student Debt, 2009).

No matter an adult child’s education level, debt loads are high and income opportunities are increasingly limited. Therefore, many adult children are moving back in with their parents out of necessity.

The movement to migrate back to mom and dad’s has been a few years in the making. Bankrate.com says that three-quarters of 2008 college graduates said they actually planned to move back in with their parents after graduation. In 2006, that figure was two-thirds, which is still a staggering number (Collegegrad.com).

“To a certain extent, it’s a sign of the economy,” says Certified Financial Planner Craig Skeels of Apex Wealth Management Group in Oxnard, Calif. “If it continues to be a prolonged recession with more cuts in jobs, we may see a lot more adult children moving back home than what we’re experiencing today.”

The adjustment for the parents and the adult child can certainly test the relationship. Mom and dad are at a new stage of their lives now compared to when the child was living at home before. If they aren’t already retired, they are perhaps, at the very least, used to the freedom of not having children around. The adult child may have anticipated being out on their own at this point, and it could feel unnatural to be back in mom and dad’s house. The latest census figures reveal that upwards of 80 million “empty nesters” are finding themselves with at least one grown child living at home. These adult children have been referred to as the “boomerang” generation.

Making the new living situation work
Both parties can make it work and even thrive if conversations and agreements occur before or at the beginning of the new living arrangement. Troublewith.com, a website of Focus on the Family, offers these tips for a smooth integration and to minimize conflict.

• Discuss the terms – The sooner that ground rules and expectations can be established from both sides, the better. This can occur even before moving day arrives. Examples include overnight guests, loud stereos, chores, meals and food.
• Don’t be afraid to ask questions – How long will the child be staying in the home? Is rent or a contribution to the household expenses a reasonable request? All relationships are better with good communication.
• Maintain a healthy relationship – Every situation is different, and some are quite complicated. Here are some tips for keeping the relationship intact:
  • Trust adult children to make wise choices. We all learn by making choices. The adult child needs to have the opportunity to make their own choices, even under the parents’ roof.
  • Try not to give advice unless it is solicited from the child. This may be difficult because the parent is aware of much more of the child’s life than it he or she were living outside the home. Again, the child needs the opportunity to grow on their own even though mom and dad are close by.
  • Communication is key. Regularly discuss how the situation is going. Everyone involved should be allowed to bring up issues, clarify expectations or simply clear the air.

Negotiate issues upfront and write them down if necessary. Fox Business News suggests creating a timetable for eventual financial independence. This can begin with fiscal responsibilities in relation to the household including food, utilities and gas for the car. Ultimately, the family needs to be on the same page and working toward a common goal. Fox Business News states in a comment to the parents, “Find the right balance between offering support and taking care of yourselves. You don’t need to fall back into the roles you each played during the years of active parenting –parents giving and the kids receiving. If the parents have been enjoying an empty nest, continue doing just that.”

Generally, the rules for the adult child will be very different than when they were growing up. As long as the grown child acts responsibly, such as holding a job, contributing financially or helping with meal preparation and household chores, he or she deserves the same liberty to come and go as any adult.

Respect for the personal boundaries and preferences of both sides is crucial to the success of this living situation. With predetermined boundaries, good communication and an agreement to revisit and, if necessary, adjust the arrangement along the way, parents and children can create a very comfortable home for all involved.

How to Get the Most Out of Support Groups: Seniors and Caregivers

When faced with life altering issues such as illness, death, and depression, seniors may find themselves in an unfamiliar position of dealing with heavy feelings and how to move forward. Perfectly capable adults who are distraught like never before may suddenly wonder what to do when confronted with overwhelming emotions.

Today’s seniors grew up in a time when people often didn’t share their feelings openly. It was not socially acceptable to disclose secrets of life-threatening illness or feelings of hurt or depression. However, today’s society is not only accepting of a person in a vulnerable state, but it also offers avenues for guiding that person to many types of support groups. Isolation is no longer necessary. Others are experiencing similar issues and are willing to share and provide a safe place to show up and ask for help.

Adult children or caregivers may often be the first line of defense when a senior is struggling. Family can be a good place to start to find support. Even seniors who are reluctant to share their emotions or feelings may seek help from their adult children or caregiver first. While that may be a good option for some people, it may also be a relief to find support outside the immediate circle of contacts.

When the adult child or the caregiver is ill-equipped to counsel the senior, or if they themselves need help, support groups may be the answer. Support groups are available for any ailment or situation. It just takes the willingness to participate and a little research to find the right one.

What is a support group?
The good news is that support groups exist for all kinds of ailments and situations. While many groups hold meetings in hospitals, churches, schools, homes, libraries, or community centers, others are available online. The Daily Strength website offers immediate access to anonymous support groups who meet online. People who are dealing with common types of issues come together and strengthen each other by sharing their feelings, experiences, and suggestions related to those issues and their own situation. Participants can relate to what others in the group are going through and therefore don’t feel alone.

Group leaders may be professional facilitators, such as nurses or psychologists, or peers may lead. It is up to the group members to decide what they are seeking from their leader. Trained facilitators offer a more professional approach to dealing with the issue at hand, while peer groups tend to offer more emotional support and a shared experience approach.

Additionally, support group participants often benefit from information shared during meetings. Genetic Health says that oftentimes people in support groups easily share information about medical treatments, research, and strategies for dealing with an ailment. Other helpful information can also include public policy, legal resources, privacy laws, protection from discrimination, and connections to financial assistance and scholarships. Uncovering this information on one’s own could take months with a concerted effort, but in a support group, that information is shared readily.

Tips for finding a support group

• Talk to your doctor or the hospital
• Ask friends who have gone through the same experience
• Search online for local meetings
• Check online for resources such as online support groups , blogs, or chat rooms that are focused on your issue
• Contact focused associations such as the American Cancer Society or Alzheimer’s Association.
• Another great resource for discovering the appropriate type of support is the Mental Health America website, which guides visitors to support groups. One may also visit the Mental Health America affiliate website, which is an excellent resource for support groups by state.

Characteristics of a good support group
While each person will seek something different from support groups, participants must ultimately feel comfortable attending meetings and sharing their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. The common characteristics that generally create a well-functioning group are:

• Prompt response to inquiries about the group
• Up-to-date and reliable information
• Strong leadership
• Access to professional advisors who align with the group’s interest
• A clearly stated and practiced “confidentiality policy”

The Mayo Clinic says that the benefits offered by support groups are unmatched and unlimited for a person struggling with an issue. People get something different out of the same meeting, depending on where they are in their experience and how willing they are to accept help. Benefits from joining and participating in a support group are:

·  Feeling less lonely, isolated, or judged

·  Gaining a sense of empowerment and control

·  Improving coping skills and adjustment

·  Engaging in an opportunity to talk openly and honestly about personal feelings

·  Reducing distress, depression, or anxiety

·  Gaining a clearer understanding of what to expect with one’s situation

·  Learning about new medical research

·  Getting practical advice or information about treatment options

·  Comparing notes about resources such as doctors and alternative options

Seniors who are dealing with new issues or issues that continue to plague their daily lives and hinder them from enjoying a productive life should investigate support groups. An adult child, caregiver, friend, or doctor can help find the right place for the senior to engage in getting help through the unique opportunity of support groups.

Adult children and caregivers also have access to support groups. Being responsible for a senior’s care can be frustrating, emotionally and physically draining, and overwhelming. People often need help, and sometimes that help is just a support group away from changing a life.